Where to begin…

I used to think what’s the fuss about long distance. All you have to do is stay in touch, stay faithful & just don’t give up on each other.

WRONG

Maybe that’d work for college but most definitely not the military. Oh how I missed the days where my little oh brain used to think, how cool would it be to be married to a soldier.

Yes of course, staying in touch and being faithful to your one does play a huge role. But, no one not even me didn’t think about the roller coaster ride of emotions you’d have to endure. The loneliness, the wall we have to build in order to put on a strong face not only for my kids but for my husband as well.

Maybe being 27 weeks pregnant has something to do with this or maybe I’m really not that strong has I thought I was.

Anyways, back track to last year. I’m close to my due date, we’re sitting at home contemplating how we’re going to pay our rent. If I remember correctly we haven’t paid our car note going on two months now I think. We’re coming home to a quiet dark house because paying our electric bill was the least of our worries. I remember thinking WOW so this is rock bottom. Nope.

We just had our first baby maybe not even a month and we’re on our way out to meet his mom for breakfast. He comes back upstairs from turning on the car to warm it up with a blank face. Where’s the car? Yup, the bank just repossessed. Now that was our rock bottom.

The tornadoes of emotions we felt that day. We looked at each other that day and made a promise THIS WILL BE THE LOWEST WE’LL EVER BE. From then we moved back with my parents. Which was one of the best decision we’ve ever made.

Still military wasn’t brought up yet until one day we’re sitting at dinner wondering what we’re gonna do with our lives. I brought up the idea first (stupid me haha) all jokes aside he was thinking the same thing. Following that week I messaged his recruiter (she was literally the best) and she was more than helpful with us.

He studied and studied took his ASVAB and was able to pick the MOS (job) he wanted which was MP. But, ended up going with something else. I was looking forward to this because we’re finally on track to something bigger and better.

Fast forward, his graduated basic & just finished his first week of AIT.

I’m laying in bed, smothered in between my 10 lb dog and my 11 month daughter, it’s 4 am in the morning but I can’t help but feel so alone. Only seeing my husband for five days in a four month span surely doesn’t help. Being a new military wife, I hate saying those two words because I didn’t marry the military I married him.

We were married for almost two years before we decided him enlisting would help us financially.

I had a really big say in him being in the military, so I can’t sit here and pout about feeling alone. So here I am staring at my phone, tears running down my face because I’m just an emotional wreck. But, I have a really big feeling being 27 weeks newly into my third trimester has something to do with it.

So, with that being said if you’re going through the same thing please please don’t hesitate emailing me via contact button. Until than I’ll just continue pouring my heart out till I run out of tears because your girl is tired of being a walking ball of tears. 🌻

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton